Random Thoughts 2006

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January 4, 2006

News Flash
A brief but phenomenally important update from the world of college football.
February 17, 2006

A Baffling Thought
No, not the Christmas thing. That is so last year. This thought came to me one day and it bothered me for days. Seriously. I still don't have an answer, though in a pinch I can always fall back on Douglas Adams' classic "Because he's an ignorant monkey who doesn't know any better."
April 13, 2006

A Last-Second Birthday Gift
It's the least I can do for a co-worker. Other than nothing, I mean.
May 20, 2006

"I'm Not Here To Take Your Call Right Now..."
When it comes to answering machine messages, none can ever top the one we had ten years ago at college, the true genius of which can never be conveyed in the retelling, baffling and amusing callers to temp housing for over a month until Jason declared it stupid and erased it. But the one Shannon recorded for Dwayne was a close second.
June 13, 2006

Foreign Contributions To Modern Civilization
This is the sort of thing we discuss in our spare time at work. And when I say "we," I generally mean that I come up with things like this and share them with the people around me, and they think to themselves, "There he goes again," and they smile and nod and hope I go away.
July 5, 2006

Foreign Contributions To Modern Civilization: A Brief Postscript
Here I clarify a little something from my previous entry. Let me add here as an aside that if you really want to impress foreigners, travel to their country and walk down the streets loudly declaring, "Stand aside, you filthy savages! American coming through!" This will really impress them, and they'll be inclined to treat you with all the respect you deserve.
July 7, 2006

Legitimate Complaints And Timely Resolutions
At work, they have been strongly stressing the importance of addressing complaints and properly resolving them on the consumer's first contact. They lead by example, as demonstrated in this latest tale of workplace efficiency.
July 28, 2006

A Pair Of Memorable Quotes
Holy crap! Three entires in one month. That's not likely to happen again anytime soon.
September 21, 2006

How Not To Be Seen
I don't mind the request, I swear I don't, but it did get me thinking about whether or not it was reasonable.
September 22, 2006

Company Vision, Mission, and Values
The company newsletter came out today. I was blown away by the corporate decisions that were revealed to us. I am quite certain that these changes will Make A Difference. Bear in mind that the acronym formed by that is MAD, which pretty much described anyone who honestly believes that these sorts of decisions will make the slightest bit of difference.
September 23, 2006

Odds And Ends
Three entires in three days. Please don't ask me what I've done with the real Varjak. I don't understand it either.
October 15, 2006

Lunatic On The Interstate
Yeah, there's a lot of lunatics on the Interstate, but this one was worse than most I've encountered.
October 18, 2006

It Literally Breaks My Heart
English can be a beautiful language, but when I hear it mangled by people who (for the most part) are paid to talk for a living, well, it literally makes me cry (not literally).
October 20, 2006

The Last Two Surviviors

I'm going to try to list updates to other parts of the site here. In this case I felt what I wrote was long enough and important enough to have its own entry on the writings page instead of just on the blog. We'll see how this goes.
November 7, 2006

A Great Moment Of Personal Triumph
What more can I say?
November 25, 2006

The Purpose Of Birthday Cards
I bet you thought birthday cards were intended to acknowledge a person's birthday and wish them well on that day. You fool.

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