This is an aerial shot of Chicago, which is not where the event took place. I include because I want to say I got something tangible out of having to go through O'Hare twice in three days, and this is my only option.

This is purple_warrior. The bear he's holding got more action than everyone else at the event combined. Try not to think about it.

Barely visible in this photo is Feared Al Yankovic, who was drawing up wonderful nametags for people. The line was long so I didn't get around to asking him for one. Sitting next to him is thechibiknight, who is far more normal than the foil hat he's wearing would lead you to believe.

Mr. Skullhead looks on as jezerfly sits in Amplitude's lap.

Cthules, Piquancy, and Clarity. I have no idea what the headgear there is about, but I bought it off her for a backrub.

See?

Me looking more dignified than I have any right to with something like that on my head. To the left is macnchz.

One of the weekend's few Jick sightings. Skully, Albassoon, and Phoenix keep him company and intimidate any would-be autograph seekers.

LadyBoobsalot's reaction to this one was, quote, "ACK!!" I couldn't have said it better myself.

Here, Jezerfly looks all suave and debonair. My friend, you are fooling nobody.

This isn't a new Jick sighting. It's the last one, continued.

Jezerfly and Piquancy.

A blurry image of jelloboi online and exercising simultaneously. We were all quite impressed.

Oh yeah... St. Louis has this Arch thingie you may have heard something about.

And the Arch thingie has its own duck pond, though you can't really see them at this resolution. Just trust me. They're there. Would I lie to you?

Naners makes a statue very, very happy.

I would make a joke here about people holding their scores from hotornot.com, but then everyone would kill me. This is one of the few pictures I took inside the Arch (okay, technically, underneath the Arch) that came out as anything other than a dark, murky mess, because my camera does not handle dark areas very well even with the flash, which makes me wonder why the camera even has one, since it's my understnading that the entire point of having a flash is to light up dark areas so they photograph properly. The camera has always been like this; it wasn't acting up just because I dropped it on the concrete Friday night and broke the cover that holds the batteries in. Some of you may suggest that I dropped the camera because I was drunk, but I counter that I can prove that wasn't it, because the next day, when I was sober, I dropped the fucker again. So HA!

Sorry about that. I got lost on a tangent there. Anyway... Back to the photos.

If only we'd had a duck...

The view from 630 feet up.

A river barge plows through the shadow of the Arch. If it had plowed into the bridge as well, I would have a lot more pictures of this.

Baseball, anyone?

Adah took this picture of me wedged into the transport that took us to the top of the Arch. This theoretically holds five people, though on the way up Naners had to put her feet up on our laps because there wasn't enough room.

Same thing, only this time the flash didn't work so well. Apparently the flash isn't totally useless after all.

Adah and the Freudian slip.

One more of this. I'm such a camera hog, I guess.

I took a picture of Adah taking a picture. True story.

I have no idea what, if anything, I said to Adah to deserve this, but I'm a nice guy so I'll just assume I deserved it. DJFreeMason is looking the wrong way, so he totally missed it. Actually, everyone is looking the wrong way. That's pretty impressive.

Adah agreed to take a picture of me. This was her first attempt. She's got a way with cameras. (Every picture I took, of course, was absolutely perfect.)

This one came out better. Maybe I should comment here that my shirt was a big hit with the KoL crowd. Mr. Skullhead even pointed out that it's a South Park reference and sort of a Hitchhiker's Guide reference at the same time.

And then Adah demonstrates again that she only really likes me from the waist down.

Having made all these comments, I sure hope she's got a good sense of humor.

After a fun ride home that included a NO TURN ON RED sign at a flashing red light, street signs with arrows directing us in the wrong direction, a drag race of sorts, misleading turn signal usage, and nearly a demolition derby, we arrived back at the hotel to discover that most of the award ceremony that we hadn't heard was going to happen had already happened.

This is one of the few photos of the burlesque show that came out okay on my camera. And let us never speak of the rock-throwing incident again. (I had said something more, but according to the forums apparently all is forgiven so I should just stay out of it.)

I know exactly what caused a lot of the pictures I took here to look so bad. It's a combination of bad camera and bad photographer. Pictures like this have absolutely nothing to do with spirit lights, supernatural phenomena, or the dead trying to contact the living.

And the dots you see here are not spirit lights, either. What's crazy is, there are people out there who would wholeheartedly disagree with me about that. I'm not going to rule out that the supernatural could exist, but seriously, some people are just insane. This is not supernatural.

Nor is this.

Nor is this.

Nor is this.

Nor is this. This is much more interesting.

I wonder what balloon hat Cthules sold for this one.

I hereby decree that henceforth this man forevermore shall be known as "Mr. Penguinpants."

NSurgnie demonstrates the KoL meet philosophy: There is no such thing as too much alcohol. He was one of the first people I met when I showed up at the meet, actually. He ran off for a moment and came back with like five Bud Lights for us. For the record, Bud Light is nothing more than beer flavored Fruit 2 O.

I was trying to get a picture of me, Naners, and Lilac together. I took the first picture and managed to cut Lilac completely out of it.

So I took another, and this time managed to cut Naners completely out of it, despite the fact that she was sitting in the middle. That takes talent, people!

So I handed off the camera to someone else. I don't remember who, but judging by this first attempt, I think it was Adah.

There we go! Fourth time's the charm.

A spanking! A spanking! Sparkle Motion is far more spanking-oriented than I would have ever suspected.

Someone as yet unidentified (hopefully someone will clue me in on this one), thechibiknight, and macnchz. Frankly, chibi has looked better. (UPDATE: He is no longer unidentified. BlueFish has identified him as Hal_Borski. I would've guessed Phil_Borski, because he looks more like a Phil to me, but whatever. Also, while I'm updating, let me just apologize to chibi, who I roomed with at the meet, for not managing to take a single decent picture of him. Thank you.) (ANOTHER UPDATE: Also confirmed as Hal_Borski by rotinisha, who k-mailed me, as opposed to BlueFish, who e-mailed me. We have now confirmed through two sources and passed basic scientific rigor. We rock.)

Chibi's looked better than this, too.

In the background here, jelloboi seriously overcompensates. (I originally typed "overcomepnsates," which was unintentional, but as far as typos go, it was a pretty good one.)

NSurgnie took a bit of a beating here. He didn't seem to mind at all.

On the last day, as people were getting ready to go home, NSurgnie got a ride up to the elevator and up to the third floor.

Also, he's good with kids.

How many of you have your own shower tile? None of you, that's who! Unless you're pictured here.

When Pittsburgh played against Bradley, this is how the team names were abbreviated for broadcast.

Me with what at least theoretically was a balloon jick on my head. My shirt reads "HAVE YOU SEEN ME? If so, please report my whereabouts immediately." I wore this through several airports for the trip home. Several security personnel commented on it. Let's leave it at that.

Attention, all passengers. You are now leaving St. Louis. Thank you for your support.