Intelligent Progressive Individuals Counter The Bigoted Neocon Drones
Updating the last entry...
I find it interesting that the praise for the company's support of the Gay Games is trickling in steady while the complaints come in fits and starts. The other day we went from zero calls in queue to a record one hundred eighty-three and back down to zero in the span of fifteen minutes. (Twenty calls in queue is considered a lot.) There was a radio broadcast that referenced us so everyone immediately called in all at once. It's kind of creepy. Reminds me of Pavlov's dogs, responding to a stimulus. Or maybe a cult. "Call this number. Complain about this. Await further instructions." The contacts spike whenever certain organizations tell people to contact us. I maintain that people this far to the right are very much in the minority, but they're phenomenally well organized.
At least this time all the words in the online form email we're getting bombarded with are spelled correctly. This isn't always the case. You'd think people would proofread the stuff they're sending in, but again, they're just mindlessly following instructions. There's no actual effort expended on their part at all.
Meanwhile, I've accumulated several more genius comments, which I will then follow up with the mandatory smart ass remark. All typos are left just as we received them.
"We will not buy your products since the gay lifestyle is one that we support." Speaking of proofreading... Illiterate moron.
"I am very interested to know if I will be buying any more of your products in the future." And what would I know about that that you don't? Ironically enough, I work for the company, and I really don't give a shit. Maybe you should consult your Magic 8-Ball.
"I was shocked to learn that you're a sponsor of the Gay Games. Do you support the Special Olympics as well?" Yeah, that'd be terrible, wouldn't it? This message brought to you by Male WASP Republicans For World Domination.
"Drop your gay Olumpics." There's something really funny about this that I can't put my finger on. (And no, it's not their typo, though I think that helps.)
"How can you possibly promote healthy living and sponsor the Gay Olympics? I will seriously consider further purchases of you products if this continues." Okay... Illiterate loser, I'd like to introduce you to Illiterate moron.
"I am disgusted that your company is advertising on a homosexual website." I don't know how he can tell this about a website. I didn't even know websites had sexual orientations. Maybe he's got e-gaydar. I don't know. I don't want to know.
"I am offended that gays would so disrespect the Special Olympics." What IS it with the Special Olympics references?
"Stop supporting the perverted homo-olympics." I kind of wonder what events people think the Gay Games consist of. Do they think the schedule looks like this? "Noon: Parallel Bars. Bonus points for clean dismount. 3 PM: Pole Vault. 6 PM: Evening Gown Competition. 8 PM: Anal Sex." Seriously, it's Olympic events. The same events. You think this is perverted? Consider this: The original Olympics, the one that inspired the modern version, were open only to men and all contestants participated in the nude. Just FYI. What would the Far Right say about THAT if they knew?
"We are talking about people who are defined by their engaging in the act of sodomy." Believe it or not, this man has never heard of lesbians.
"I am dissappointed for so many do not realize that through out history three primary cultural signs exist for a dieing society: 1) Aboration and/or sacraficing of children 2) euthanasia and 3) Homosexuality." My assumption is that this person spent nearly thirty minutes hanging out near the refreshments stand at the Clown College Meet 'N Greet, thereby qualifying him in his own mind as a renowned expert on sociology and political science.
"Consider your products boycotted by me and my extremely large family." As mentioned above, our company has gotten in bed with a current fad diet. Maybe we can help your extremely large family lose weight and become a more normal-sized family. Then again, it occurs to me that maybe they think our company and the fad diet company that we got in bed with are of the same gender. As far as I know companies don't have genders, but I didn't know websites had sexual orientations either, so I'm willing to concede I may need to learn more on this front.
"Would you support the national obese American Olympics or Smokers of America Olympics?" I'm not especially proud of this, but I think both of those ideas are hysterical and would love to see them. Imagine the Smokers Olympics with the 8000m relay. A bunch of people gasping and cursing like Eric Cartman as he runs across South Park, stopping to try to catch their breath, reaching into the baton and pulling out a cigarette and a lighter and puffing as they resume staggering around the track, until they get to the finish line and collapse. There'll be an oxygen tent set up there, along with fire trucks, because you just know some moron will light up in the tent... Or the obese American Olympics! Try to picture that one! The Obese Pole Vault! The Obese Four Man Kayak! The Obese 100m Hurdles! If someone arranged these events, I don't care who the sponsors might be. I would watch.
"You are doing nothing other than sanctioning homosexuality in the name of tolerance." Yes! Finally someone gets it! No, wait... They think that's a bad thing, don't they? Okay then. Let's try something else. Hmmm... Okay, here's an idea. Instead of sponsoring the Gay Games in the name of tolerance, we can sponsor the assault and periodic murder of people leaving gay bars in the name of intolerance! What a plan! This person had more to say:
"Tolerance is the last proclaimed virtue of a dying civilization." This makes no sense to me. I guess I can just put tolerance on the list under Homosexuality, euthanasia, and Aboration, then stock up on emergency supplies, sit back, and watch the United States give way to a great new society where everyone hates everyone else and people who demonstrate tolerance are knifed in the kidneys.
"If you support this, how do we know your food isn't diseased?" Because regardless of sexual orientation, NOBODY has sex with the food on the production line. Jesus Christ...
"I just found out you are supporting the Gay Olympics. As a Christian I certainly hope that you reconsider your position." I suspect she wants us to pull out.